The lecture room we used is too small for the exam, we'd have to sit so close to each other we could see each others papers even without looking.
Might as well rant about something (or at the very least make a post about something I dislike); I keep trying to get started on this lab report for chemistry, but every time I try to start I end up making a post on this forum.
'"The internet, Marty! There's free pornography in the future! An endless supply of free porn!"
No reply yet.
Thankfully the assistant manager was able to back me up since he helped me get this weeks schedule. However now it seems I will be working in addition to Thursday as well. I hope to god I am going to get paid well for this, its starting to strain my patience a great deal.
So through the years, and it has been a couple of years, I have come to accept myself, with all my weird ass problems and shit, I'm comfortable with who I am, I am me, and if anyone else has a problem with that, well tough... No one is perfect, and that is how I learnt to accept myself..
So my general attitude towards life kinda changed, but also kinda stayed the same. In terms of my mental situation, I am bi-polar, along with other things that should not be mentioned. I still deal with life in a strange way but yeah... And then I express myself. I express myself through music, through photography, through art, and through the way I present myself. Usually very strangely, I can't remember the last time my hair has been a normal colour and I'm happy with that. I have a couple of piercings, which I enjoy, I would like to get more. I wear clothes from Gothic, to steampunk, to post-apocalyptic, to whatever the hell I feel comfortable, though I always wear something strange and weird, because I enjoy being different and individual.. Individuality is a really big thing for me.. and so my rant starts here:
I have a friend, I've known her for a year, we are pretty good friends. When I first met her she was very free spirited, very happy and content with life, she had her own style, and I liked it. I liked her because she wasn't afraid of being who she wanted to be. If I had to put a label on her (which I hate doing) I would say she was quite the hippie. It was strange, me being all dark, and her being all light. But it went together really well... Then time went by, and I met this other girl.. Now.. her.. wow.. I think you can say I have a massive crush on her. She's similar to me, a little darkish, laughs at all my jokes, makes me feel fucking beautiful, we flirt, and we've become super close... Now my other friend (the hippie one) started noticing this.. And I don't know what happened, but since then she has been doing everything that I do, saying everything that I say, dressing exactly as I do, same make up, same hair, wants to get same piercings. I even showed her the idea for my tattoo and where I wanted it, she's getting a very similar looking one at the exact same place.
She started listening to heavy metal (something that she used to hate whenever I played it) And she started becoming all weird and dark.. but.. it's really pretentious.. really really pretentious.. I shook it off my shoulders and just decided to carry on with life, I mean what does the outer appearance mean anyways you know? Yes, it is the way I express myself (in terms of clothes and whatnot) but it's all chilled.. then.. something really bad happened.. I have a certain bad habit, something I can't kick (not drugs) though I think it might be a little more dangerous.. I don't know.. anyways.. she saw.. she saw, and then she started doing it too.. and this just got me so mad.. She used to be terrified of it! She hated it.. and now she's doing it, showing everyone, and pretending like it's a fashion statement.. and it's not.. it really isn't. It's not something that I'm proud of, it's something that I hate.. so much..
All in all.. this girl is becoming fake to me... she is becoming what she thinks is cool in order to fit in.. She doesn't get that to me, it's not about that, it's about being individual, being comfortable with being yourself.. I know that everyone has their insecurities, but that's no reason to do exactly as someone else does in fear that you might lose that person as a friend... If that's what she's scared of, then she's done exactly that which she tried not to do...
Ok, your friend is acting very strange. Have you talked with her about this? What do her parents think of this?
She maybe jealous or afraid of losing your friendship. It may be just a phase, and she'll get over it soon.
If you are trying to be different just for the sake of being different than other people, it's not true individuality, is it?because I enjoy being different and individual.. Individuality is a really big thing for me..
You're still letting other people define you.
She isn't cutting herself, is she? Make her stop, whatever it is. You have to bring this up. I agree with Isobel here.LuridRose wrote:I have a certain bad habit, something I can't kick (not drugs) though I think it might be a little more dangerous.. I don't know.. anyways.. she saw.. she saw, and then she started doing it too.. and this just got me so mad.. She used to be terrified of it! She hated it.. and now she's doing it, showing everyone, and pretending like it's a fashion statement.. and it's not.. it really isn't. It's not something that I'm proud of, it's something that I hate.. so much..
except i do, it just pisses me off
values dissonance, i guess