Relationships

[ENIHCAMBUS]

I think he lied to me...

Who? Your boyfriend?

[zombieshooter]

Quick update: We're back together. I'll try to avoid new quick updates.

[zombyrus]

Today I saw my ex-girlfriend for the first time since we broke up in January (because we go to different colleges during the year), and now I feel pretty awful. We pretty much greeted each other and that was all but I wasn't expecting it at all.

I probably wouldn't date her again if the opportunity arose (there were very good reasons we broke up) but I've been generally pretty miserable since we split. We're still on pretty good terms and all but there's a bunch of stuff I want to talk to her about but I feel like I can't because this is so long ago now. Through our whole relationship it seemed like she needed me a lot more than I needed her, but she was the one who broke up with me, and she seemed to be basically over it in a couple weeks where I'm still kind of not over it now. A big part of that I think is because I've basically got nobody else to think about. She's the only girlfriend I've ever had, but since we broke up is the only time since 7th grade (6 years ago) when I haven't had a crush on anybody at all. I really think if I had someone else to focus on I'd be able to do better, but I legitimately do not know a single person I want to try to date. I've been saying to myself since we broke up, "It didn't have to be her; someone else could make me just as happy or happier. But it couldn't be just whoever, and I don't know who else it could be."

She thought I was all she had (at one point she said to me, "You're all I've got") but I guess when we broke up she pretty quickly realized she was surrounded by friends. I've never felt more alone than I have since we broke up. At college I could sometimes go a day or two without saying a single word to anyone. The only person I hung out with was my brother, and even though we used to be best friends, shit's kinda weird now because he's got his own problems and shit (a lot of which seem like they're basically the same as mine, but maybe worse). I always felt like I needed to be there for him and stuff like that, and I'm not really in a position to be supportive to someone who's dealing with shit.

Basically I guess I've got two things bugging me. One is that I don't understand how she can be happier without me. It's not like I was mean to her or anything. I always tried to ask how she was doing and tell her how much she meant to me and stuff like that. It ended up being a long-distance relationship, so I can get how it might not be a huge positive to be in it, but I don't understand how it could have become a real negative (and apparently it did, because once she got over the initial sadness she seemed way, way happier then while we were dating, unless she was lying to me to try to not make me feel bad (like I bent the truth a bit when I told her I was doing ok when I was doing pretty poorly)). The whole time we were dating apart, I got a lot of support from knowing she was thinking about me and looking forward to seeing her. Even when things were bad between us, I still felt like our relationship made me more happy than unhappy. I don't understand how it could have been different for her--how could being with me be worse than being alone?

The other thing is that I'm really alone. Since I'm home now, I have access to all my old friends from high school and it's cool to hang out with them, but I can't get the same kind of support from that that I got from her... like right now the odds are slim that my friends are thinking about me. Nobody is going to text me to see how I'm doing. And, honestly, I haven't had much of anything to look forward to in a long time.

I don't know if I've said everything I mean to... One other thing is that I do know that there isn't someone else on her end (or at least I have faith that there isn't). Based on today, though, if she started dating someone else I'd probably lose my mind.

[EDIT]
I'm really surprised how much better I feel after writing all of that (probably because I was crying through most of it), so that's cool, although I'm sad because of the actual problems up there, which remain unsolved

[ENIHCAMBUS]

1.
We where both at kindergarden, and when we met again in primary school, I thinked it was a work of the destiny, that we have to being together. These where times where I believed in such things, and now i know they aren't real, we have nothing in common, nothing happened in those 7 years.

2.
How foolish I was, looking at a girl just becuase it looks nice. She was a whore, a bitch, she acted like a trophy, like an object, and much other things I don't want to remember. What it will prevail forever is how she broke with his boyfriend to catch every boy at her reach, just devasting.

3.
Not one, but many girls I ignored, because I was blind.

4.
They were best friends, until one of them became a whore, then they just split up. While one went in the deep of absurdity, why I didn't catch the other? Still, I was blind.

5.
She liked me becuase I'm nice and handsome, so I just taken the chance, but the relation was empty, when we broke 2 weeks later she said that I was boring, hahaha...

6.
The worst of all: A psychopath, crazy, insane girl. In just 3 months she made my life a nightmare, and that gave me bad sequels. I don't want to see her again nevermore.

7.
And here I am, a girl who purely loves me. Were 31 girls and 2 boys in total that loved me in the whole secondary, but she was the only one that shown her true feelings at me. She said by herself that she is silly, and while she is smiling externaly, in the very depth she is sad because she thinks that a girl like her doesn't fits for someone like me. This is my actual CLIMAX, what should I do with her? (This is a retorical question, I have to find my way in my own).

[Jance]

I was with my girlfriend for 5 years. First year we were in distant relationship, but then moved in together. That was in summer, and just couple months later she wanted a baby. So we made one. (yeah, I'm a girl too, but we had one male friend and empty, clean cat food jar...)
3 months after our son was born (by her) she suddenly started to cheat on me. She said it was because she got scared by "commonplace" that our life became after a child.
We broke up for a while, but came back together. But she didn't ever understand, why I had such troubles to trust her again <w<
Our son was under a year old, when she wanted another baby. This time I got pregnant, and 9 months later we got little baby girl. She wasn't even ONE month old, when my gf started to cheat again! And in addition, she started to hit me too. Everything that was bad in our relationship got just worse and worse. (it wasn't just the cheating and hitting, there was A LOT more too - like everything but drugs & alcohol) So I decide to leave her. It took me a whole year to find new apartment for me and my daughter - I couldn't take our son with me, since he wasn't legally mine :/
(he's in custody now, 'cause ex couldn't take care of him)

At first my ex was insisting me to come back, but after couple months she found new boyfriend from internet. Then second, then third, then suddenly she started to date her old schoolmate (irl) and got pregnant with him Her due date is in October. Our firstborn will turn 4 in July. Daughter is now 2,5 years old. I dunno what to say. Knowing all my ex's history, I just feel very sorry for that fellow :'D

I'm still single. For 1,5 years now. And I don't even have any friends here in my hometown, whom I could meet once in a while. Feeling a bit lonely <w< I'm not very actively looking for someone, kinda just hoping that somebody nice boy or girl would appear from somewhere and wanted to be with me. In meantime, I'll just drool after DMT Main Char and fantasize he could be my mate and lover <3___<3 XD
(could he be interested in 25-year-old single mother? <w<)

//edit over a year after: Oh dear Damaskus why did I wrote all that bobba here... =o= Not going to delete it but making it smaaaaaaalll and hoping that no-one will see the trouble to read it again... *facedesk*

[WorldisQuiet5256]

Well...interesting. I don't know if you have a serious Gaming counsel such as an xbox or a Playstation. But...if you don't I know of two good YouTube channels were these two people do video game walkthroughs.

TheRPGMinx
KrismPro

Again, I don't know what your apartment arraignments are, or if you have a TV. But since its clear you have access to a computer. So in your spare time (When you daughter not around, or you have a pair of headphone) these two youtubers might give you a good laugh every now and again.

And FYI, They are both Lesbians (I never met you, and I don't know your relationship life is), and they are going to get married sometime in the future. KrismPro propose to TheRPGMinx sometime in the past. The TheRPGMinx is more active and post more videos from time to time. While KrismPro does it more as a small time hobby; so she does not post allot of videos as fast.

[WorldisQuiet5256]

I was with my girlfriend for 5 years. First year we were in distant relationship, but then moved in together. That was in summer, and just couple months later she wanted a baby. So we made one. (yeah, I'm a girl too, but we had one male friend and empty, clean cat food jar...)
3 months after our son was born (by her) she suddenly started to cheat on me. She said it was because she got scared by "commonplace" that our life became after a child.
We broke up for a while, but came back together. But she didn't ever understand, why I had such troubles to trust her again <w<
Our son was under a year old, when she wanted another baby. This time I got pregnant, and 9 months later we got little baby girl. She wasn't even ONE month old, when my gf started to cheat again! And in addition, she started to hit me too. Everything that was bad in our relationship got just worse and worse. (it wasn't just the cheating and hitting, there was A LOT more too - like everything but drugs & alcohol) So I decide to leave her. It took me a whole year to find new apartment for me and my daughter - I couldn't take our son with me, since he wasn't legally mine :/
(he's in custody now, 'cause ex couldn't take care of him)

At first my ex was insisting me to come back, but after couple months she found new boyfriend from internet. Then second, then third, then suddenly she started to date her old schoolmate (irl) and got pregnant with him Her due date is in October. Our firstborn will turn 4 in July. Daughter is now 2,5 years old. I dunno what to say. Knowing all my ex's history, I just feel very sorry for that fellow :'D

I'm still single. For 1,5 years now. And I don't even have any friends here in my hometown, whom I could meet once in a while. Feeling a bit lonely <w< I'm not very actively looking for someone, kinda just hoping that somebody nice boy or girl would appear from somewhere and wanted to be with me. In meantime, I'll just drool after DMT Main Char and fantasize he could be my mate and lover <3___<3 XD
(could he be interested in 25-year-old single mother? <w<)

I never been in a relationship yet, and I'm 19 years old. But, can I give you some advice? Not actual advice I just simple telling the truth. Both my biological Parent's are divorce. But my mother still considers herself married to my father (Spiritually, cause someone once tried to date her when she was helping him out and she said no).

But....it took me time to figure out why they did it. I found it to be simple. To put them in the same house for eternity, would drive them nuts. That is why they got a divorce; to save their relationship. So...hearing your story tells me in order for you to be happy, (To where your partner/wife found happiness in repeated insanity.) Cause...again, I not trying to be disrespectful to you or this ex of yours, but you made the smarter choice, you ex choose the path of insanity. Cause, like Einstein once said:

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

So...your ex is stuck without her kid, and is unable (Or at least from what I can tell from your post story) to take care of herself. You have taken care of yourself and your child.

But...I can tell you how you should date: again, not trying to be a dictator, it just something I thought about for many year, probably has to do with the fact I am Autistic, and being social at say a bar or a restaurant is a bit difficult for me. But...I once read this book title "Be Different" where a 40 year old man tell his life story. To which when he turned 40, he found out he was autistic. But...he did find love, and he was actually the guy who help designed a guitar for the band KISS, that had many light show affects from the guitar alone, and without any stage lighting.

But my point is this, I still have many friends from high school (Who I keep in contact with facebook which I signed up for after I graduated), but I still live by a rule/code. Just a point of findings friends. They don't have to be date friends, but just actual friends.

But the rule is this:
If you show interest in me, I will show that same interest back at you.

When I say interest, I mean they come to me, I don't come to them. Again, I have to referrer the book "Be Different", to where the author first date was a women who he met at a bar. Do understand it was not that kind of met in a bar, but he was the musician tech who was always helping out a small time band.That day he was at the bar after a gig, and the women came up and talk to him. And he was not the cleanest at the point in his life. Rather cause he didn't know of the motivation behind keeping yourself in good condition.

To short, he and that women dated for some time, but they never made it work in the end. Like any first relationship. But he did say this in his book.

The First Girlfriend of my Adult Life -Cathy Moore- chose me while I was working with bands

Some people have told me, "Your idea of getting chosen is nutty. I can go meet anyone I want." That may be true for some people, but its not true for me.

I didn't know about Asperger's back then, but you didn't need to understand psychiatry to separate the geeks from the nypicals when it came to dealing with girls.

[WorldisQuiet5256]

Here is an interesting fact, I pretty much as social as can be. I am just working on improving it right now. Probably has something to do with me out of high school for about 1 year exactly.

I just simply choose not to date in high school.
A. I didn't have a car until the summer following my high school graduation.
B. I didn't care much for high school drama
And C. the most important part: Graduation. If I was dating in High School, with a girl who was in the same grade as me, I knew about the ticking bomb. It was not the point of not dating, but to simple avoid the disaster of either me, or my Girlfriend "Finding our own path in life". Which might have meant long distance relationship, Which never work out at all the time.

Excluding the relationship between Murtaugh and Elizabeth.

[zombyrus]

...Also excluding tons of actual relationships in real life.

I mean, that shit didn't end up working out for my relationship (like I was saying up there), but I think I could be happy in a long-distance relationship. What she needed from me romantically was something I apparently couldn't provide at a distance, but what I needed from her was basically satisfied--all I really need is someone who really actively cares about me and whom I really actively care about.

I know people who have had long, happy relationships on opposite sides of the country from each other. I know someone who has had to go 6 months without seeing her husband, and it isn't like that killed their relationship. I'm a little offended at you saying long-distance relationships "never work out at all."

[WorldisQuiet5256]

But I know the purpose of Dating.
A simplicity of Trial and Error.
I know it makes it look void when I say it, but I say it as simple as can be. Such as Deep Thought gave the answer of 42.

But its take allot of work as well.
But I follow the gentlemen code of honor.
I always hold the door open for someone, despite how much of a hurry I am in.

I'm a little offended at you saying long-distance relationships "never work out at all."

Wait, "Never work out at All"? I'm sorry, typo, I meant "Never work out all the time". What I mean to say is those who are constantly dating (To where they expect much physical contact) Are stuck within the boundaries of their own personal means, or wants from a relationship. My point was in high school, there is allot of....affection young teenagers, or anybody going through the hormones growth between the age of 13 and 20.

Like I said:

B. I didn't care much for high school drama

Touching, being within someone else personal space all the time. My first two years of middle school, I was allowed to leave class 5 minute before the bell to avoid the crowds and loud noises. I use to call this periods between classes where the hallways were filled with students "stampede"