Pastelland Forum

You got a point there.

I definitely do find it really interesting that just because I decide to make some changes in the way I live my life, people seem to really be hyping it up.

I mean, really, a thread on this forum dedicated solely to the fact that I'm deciding to leave? What's next, a monument?

Part of that might be my fault as I did say I had plans to leave when I get my laptop back (which should be very soon as the store literally called as I'm typing this and said it's all fixed and ready for pickup ) and since then I've decided that I don't really care to make a "farewell video" anymore. I've already withdrawn ownership of the Pastel Town channel so I couldn't upload there anyway, and I can boil things down enough into a post.

You all can stop freaking out because when it comes down to it, I'm just not interested in being here anymore. That's the general, unspecified reason. People's lives and interests change. Communities change as well. And I just don't think that the community is a good fit for me anymore. It's not the same place I joined in 2014 and I'm not attracted to it like I used to be.

That's not to say anyone's doing anything wrong, and I don't want to pretend I think things would be better if I could somehow control the interactions of people around me. Like anything, people come and go and I don't see why I should be treated any differently.

Most of the people that I grew up in this community with aren't around much anymore. The forum has definitely fallen in activity and moved to other places, as well as the Wiki. The Skype and Discord were good for a while, but after a bit I just decided that I didn't want to spend time on these social media platforms anymore. Skype got a bit annoying with everyone's conflicting personalities and the calls just weren't as enjoyable, so I saw no reason to keep joining them. Then I was reminded that all of the messages were being archived, and while I agree with the principle I was just not comfortable with someone recording everything I said, so I left. Same with the forum. All of your messages are being Waybacked, and they have been for months. I don't want to be continuously reminded of that just because I'm not comfortable with it. Plus, not many conversations are happening here anymore that I care to partake in anyway. Discord was fun for a while as I discovered what type of people were there until it wasn't fun anymore and I just ended up feeling more like I wasn't compatible there. So I left.

You guys do realize that all these places are just other forms of social media. They're not special clubs with memberships and implied terms of service or anything. Anyone can choose to stop at anytime for whatever reason and I sure hope none of you had expected me to keep being here for whatever reason.

And there's really no reason for me to contribute much of anything anymore myself, as feelings that I've had building up about Submachine which lead to BTM7 finally peaked, and I just realized I don't really care what happens that much anymore and don't want to continue to try to track the story and theorize and keep information up to date, because I see it as a waste of my time. My interests are evolving and that means that prior interests are fading. I did see Mateusz's response, and I don't feel like continuing the conversation as I've said my part and he's said his, and I'm sure I could go back and talk more about where I think his motivations and the way he conveys things to people needs work and clarify some assumptions he's made of me but again, I'm not interested.

Currently I'm working on discussing Submachine Wiki and Pastel Wiki adminship with the others in charge/potential people in charge. When I get my laptop back I'll probably do one last Submachine Wiki stream to help tidy up the Wiki after the December SubVerse release, because there's still stuff to be done and I'm putting just enough energy aside to focus on that. But after that I don't really have anything planned, save for gradual talks with other people on the Wiki about the ongoing conversation about where to put theories/wakthroughs/stuff like that. But even then if I fall out of interest before that's completed I won't worry about it too much.

Again I want you guys to understand that it's fine for people to lose interest in things over time and move on to other things. No matter how big of an influence I might have had. Do you accept that it's okay for me to not be interested in these things anymore?

Also, I'll definitely say that part of the reason I'm leaving is because I got annoyed with certain people. The attitudes of people on the Discord and even some on Skype got on my nerves, so I'm allowing myself to walk away. Which is fine to do. You guys can still do and act and be whatever you want, but if I don't want to spend my time interacting with you then that's okay as well. And finally to add on to that, I've never been too impressed with some people's tendencies to treat Mateusz as though every move he makes is completely calculated and he's some mastermind who does everything for a reason. Some of you really do treat him like a god sometimes and are really quick to defend him when faced with criticism. I've also noticed an uptick of people explaining away clear holes in his logic when it comes to certain things, anything to steer away from saying that Mateusz created an imperfect game series. It's almost cultish in a sense. But who am I to say.

Hopefully this is good enough for you guys and we don't have to follow this up with any eulogies or mutterings behind my back about me deciding to pursue other things. I plan to visit and leave a kind note upon new game releases if I feel the need to do so.

cheers

Ok. Have a nice life.
(Not sarcastic)

You probably didn't spent enough time in forum to know Mateusz as probably I and others do, he always made up things as he progressed, so making a lot of analysis in terms of hindsight a full discernible plot was kind of inane, and it certainly helped that the people you were accounting for also had the wrong impression of Mateusz as well. I can get your frustration, and those things do really take out one's interests for certain things they like.

Personally, I share some sentiments with you here, particularly those dealing with the community.
I think my stories in the GotPU reflect those sentiments: You see that the most featured members there were mostly those I grew with in the community: Vortex, Sublevel, Bender, Kakama, Abacus, Boingo, WIQ, Vurn, Sundayfever, Babylon, Borys, etc. I never had problem with integrating old and new stuff into the stories, but the only reason I don't make stuff based on modern members is mostly because I don't find most of the recent stuff compelling to me to write about, I mean, I could had made a story for the "Edgelord" joke/meme, but is just not a concept I find endearing to work with, and ultimately, I probably would not enjoy writing that. Is just the fact that I and the other people here have different ideas, different ways to think about stuff, you know, no one is to blame.

Addendum: It's been made aware to me that some of you guys see me as some sort of "leader", and now that I've decided to leave certain people are wondering if there's someone that will "take my place".

This is really sad. There's no social hierarchy like this on the forum; I've repeatedly said this before. The forum doesn't have "leaders", okay? Can you all just do your own thing and not be constantly concerned with who is "reigning" on the forum as far as influence goes? Can I not have been allowed to just do my own thing and have people decide to appreciate it without being cast as some sort of king? Jesus Christ people, there's no president here. Your mentality here is stupid.

Just have a good time and stop worrying about having people to follow. No one "rules the roost" as it were.

I agree again.

I never considered Pastel Community as country with one leader too, lol.
I see it different. I still consider Apocrypha as the most important gear in mechanism in past three years, as everyone else. As Liz said: "You were part of this organism, I admit, a crucial one, but just a part nonetheless". So it doesn't matter if one people stays or leaves or comes much less than often. Times change, and it's ok.

So, Apocrypha, good luck, and possibly see you many times later, because who knows, interests can involve back at some point, or just nostalgy would prevail, or anything else.

Sublevel 107 wrote:As Liz said: "You were part of this organism, I admit, a crucial one, but just a part nonetheless".

I'm sorry but I find this really funny because

1) Submachine reference (of course)
2) Liz is talking to Murtaugh here. Murtaugh. The guy who eventually went on to be treated as a god and leader in the Subnet himself. The guy who had a shrine built for him and who was buried in a tomb.

The irony. You couldn't have picked a funnier Submachine reference to shoehorn in.

(ok I'm done for real now lol)

U sure?

Ah now see you set yourself up here because if he replies "yes" that would mean he wasn't done at least until he answered your sarcastic question, so the logical conclusion is not to say anything, but then of course that would mean he can't point out the comedy of the situation, so I've taken it upon myself to point it out instead. Lol.