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Preview #6. Current Area: Sub 2 Lighthouse Root Area, Sub 0. (Note: This preview will contain all of Sub 0. Also, in this story, the Sub 0 area is behind that curved line of stones where the first ladder in Sub 2 is.)

Kirby was waiting in a chair. He had found 2 red orbs and a gear. King Dedede, even after Meta Knight explained that they probably needed to put the gem they found in a device, refused to do so, wanting to use the gem to make a crown for himself. They were still bickering about it, and Kirby gave the gear to Bandanna Dee who found that it fit in a phonograph.
SMASH! Kirby jumped out of the chair and went to where King Dedede and Meta Knight were.
King Dedede was holding his hammer, Meta Knight was just standing there, Bandanna Dee was staring, the music had stopped, and there was a giant hole in the wall. It seemed to lead to a grassy area. Kirby ran through the wall, the others following him.
After going through the hole, Bandanna Dee found 2 stone tongues, and Meta Knight found a lighter. Bandanna Dee found that the stone tongues fit the statues in front of what seemed to be a stone door. He put them in the statues, then Kirby turned the knob on the door, opening it.
Behind the door was 2 statues, along with a ladder. Meta Knight went down it, lighting a candle with the lighter. Kirby, King Dedede, and Bandanna Dee followed him.
Meta Knight went through a few more rooms, lighting up candles, turning cubes, and collecting 3 jewel keys and a stone plate. He put the stone plate on a wall of spikes, allowing everyone to go through. He put the 3 jewel keys on a statue, lifting it. King Dedede ran down the hole left by the statue and grabbed another gem, much like the one he already had.
Meta Knight turned on the lighter, and put it about an inch away from Dedede's robes. "We don't need another one. Put it back."
King Dedede chucked the gem in a corner, and ran out of the temple. Meta Knight, Bandanna Dee, and Kirby followed him.

Anyone like it so far?

Thegeniusyosh wrote:Anyone like it so far?

I'm liking it so far.

However, with the currently low forum activity because of the various streams, I think it would be better to wait till May. That doesn't means you cannot continue working on it though.

Sorry.

Oh, no need to apologize. There is certainly potential here, but the previews are sort of short so it is hard to get into the plot. Have you already finished any of these chapters or have you just written previews?

I agree with Ant, if you could show a larger preview it might get more people interested. (I'm still reading btw, just not commenting)

Preview 6 includes all of Sub 0. Does that count?

I'M FINALLY STARTING TO POST IT!
The prologue will be up soon. And no, this is NOTnotnotnotnotan April Fool's joke. I promise.

The 60000 character limit may be a problem...

(Note: This story takes place during Return To Dreamland.)
Prologue: Why Rock Star is not a good place to relax, or dig, or do anything

They had collected 120 energy spheres. That was good. Apparently there was one more. That was bad. It was on Rock Star, though, and not the volcanic factory planet of doom that was Halcandra. That was good. The Lor Starcutter crash landed on Rock Star after going through the portal due to asteroids. That was bad. Only one part of the Lor Starcutter got separated from the ship. That was good. The part that got separated was the emblem, which for some reason held the dimensional portal transport system which was the only way to get back to their home dimension. That was bad. Rock Star is small. That was good. The sand on Rock Star is prone to spontaneously become quicksand and create powerful quicksand whirlpools. That was bad. Magolor supplied them with a device that would help them find the emblem and the last energy sphere. That was good. It went off only in a location where there was nothing but sand and rocks. That was bad.

King Dedede sat on a rock while commanding Bandanna Dee to dig up the sand until they found both the emblem and the last energy sphere. Bandanna Dee grudgingly obliged, only because he didn't want to be on storage room cleanup duty ever again. Worst. Job. Ever. Bandanna Dee was still mentally scarred from the horrors of refrigerated 10 year old cooking. Kirby tried to help Bandanna Dee, and Meta Knight just read a book on top of another nearby rock.

The ground under King Dedede gave way, and the ground under Meta Knight started moving towards where King Dedede was. Kirby and Bandanna Dee were too busy digging to notice. King Dedede and Meta Knight both got sucked into the whirlpool of quicksand, and it was expanding. It soon reached the inch-deep hole Bandanna Dee and Kirby were digging. They both got sucked in, too. King Dedede, Meta Knight, Kirby, and Bandanna Dee all went down, down down, and landed in a room. The ceiling hole closed after they all fell in. The room had nothing but a circular plate on the wall with four triangle-shaped holes in it...